The Beginning

The Beginning.

Every story has a beginning. Or is it really the beginning? Some stories pick up the thread in the middle. This is one of those stories. The beginning is really the middle. Or some approximation thereof.

I live a charmed life, but not a perfect life.  I live a blessed life, but not a worry-free life.

I have a husband of almost 27 years, 2 kids, a daughter and a son, a house, 2 dogs, you know the drill. But no white picket fence. I draw the line at white picket fences! 

This is about what it means to be a Mom, to be a Wife, to be Everything to Everybody. Believe me the story doesn't end with a white picket fence.

My 24 year old daughter has leukemia. That very fact has changed the face of my existence.  It has redefined what it means to have adult children. What "empty-nest" looks like from inside the nest!

In the space of a week, my daughter traveled the road from "I think I have mono," to the reality of leukemia. She has AML which "they" say is better than ALL as far as prognosis goes. To this Mom, a nurse by education and experience, it means my baby girl has Cancer with a capital C.  In the space of a week, she went from blood work to confirm mononeucleosis, through a bone marrow biopsy, to a diagnosis of leukemia, surgical port placement, the start of chemotherapy and got married.  No really, all that in 8 days!

But this is just the beginning of the story.  This is not my daughter's story. We have a CaringBridge website to document her story.  This is my story. The story of a Mom. The story of a Wife. The story of a woman who is Everything to Everybody.  There are lots of us out there. The women who do it all because we can. The women who love fiercely, give generously and mostly do it with a smile.  Note, I said "mostly?'' That means not always. I don't always give with grace. But I try, and isn't that the point, after all.

I not only have a daughter, but I have a son, trying to make his way in the world. I have a husband who loves me and whom I love. He is stretched, like I am stretched, and still we cling to each other. I have parents who are aging and in need and hanging on like there is still meaning in the holding on. I have siblings and friends. Coworkers and Employees. Young and old who look to me to "make it all better," to "fix it." I do what I can, laugh when I mess up, cry when I can't fix it.

Share my story with me. You'll recognize yourself in the story. It's the story of connection, humanity, joy, sorrow, struggle, triumph, life!