I remember when my kids were little how the best laid plans seem to dissolve into dust. I'd plan an outing, one would wake with a cold. I'd plan grocery shopping and one would melt down without a nap. So I became flexible...very flexible. I stopped even talking about getting a sitter to go out for a date night, because it would inevitably jinx it. Strep, sinus infection, bronchitis, something. So I planned without telling anyone. That way no one had ammunition to aim at my plan. I think many people thought I didn't make plans, just flowed through my days. I am naturally spontaneous. I'll never pass up a lunch invitation to finish the laundry. Movie, sure! Grocery shopping can wait. Mani-pedi, awesome, I can clean the house another day! But I actually make lots of plans. I've just become very adept at changing them, lots of times, every day!
I worked part-time as a nurse at a local hospital all through the kid's growing up years. Maybe 1-2 evenings per week. Wouldn't you know, I even was counseled for attendance issues, because I'll be darned, but wasn't it the day I was scheduled that one of the kids would be throwing up breakfast! I eventually went the agency route. I'd wait to schedule until the morning. Is everyone well? Is everything going along normally? OK, it's 10am, everything's quiet on the home front, I think it's safe to schedule to work at 3pm. Really, that's how I'd schedule. I wouldn't tell anyone except my hubby which day I was thinking I would work. That way no one could plan any shenanegans to mess me up!!
Apparently, my lot in life is to be flexible. I now have adult children, an independent husband and parents who are either taken care of, Dad's in a nursing home, or taking care of themselves, Mom still lives in the house where I grew up. But, I still can't plan anything, because something or someone is going to mess with it!!
Let's talk taking care of my daughter, during her treatments for leukemia. We're now almost 2/5 of the way through her chemotherapy treatment plan. We've discovered that, in the 4 week cycle of each chemo treatment, that she has fairly predictable needs.
Week 1 is chemo infusions. She feels mostly good through this week, has energy, has an immune system. I stayed with her this time, but don't think I'll need to be at her house the whole week 1 next round. That is, except that the med will be given in a different way. Her port will need to be flushed. Will need to teach her new husband how to do that. So I'll probably still be there... maybe...part of the time...see what I mean. Where's the plan??
Week 2 is the drop in the immune system. Still feeling pretty good, but not safe to be out and about much. So she's bored, and lonesome, and did I say bored? Her hubby is still in school, so he's home some, not home some, kind of predictable, kind of not, depending on projects, tests, blah, blah, blah. So I'll probably be there for most of week 2, because I can be, because she needs me.
Week 3 is really the danger week. Cell counts drop to the basement and she, so far, has needed multiple transfusions during week 3. This is the week where it is my duty, my calling, my desire to be with her, watch her and provide the safety net that I am uniquely, through education, experience, wisdom and sheer time availability, able to provide.
Week 4 is recovery week and she's mostly fine and mostly on her own!
Now comes the can't plan part. Sometimes lab draws are every day, sometime every other day. Sometimes her labs are fine, sometimes they are not. I've even begun to graph her cell counts so we can have some idea of when to expect her counts to fall, or recover as the case may be. Bone marrow biopsy scheduled for Thursday, nope, gotta change it, cuz her counts are crazy and she needs 3 units of blood on Wednesday. So reschedule the biopsy for Friday, after labs, unless her labs are still down, then we'll schedule for Monday, and on an on!
So I'm back to waking up in the morning, taking survey of the land and planning my next minute, or maybe 2!
I've always been amazed that people can plan things months in advance, vacations, dates, house projects, etc. Not me, I just want to be able to plan my next 5 minutes. Let's try that!!
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